by:Michelle Rouse Fox
Tis the season for resolutions, goal setting, organizing and gym memberships! Who wouldn’t like a new start, a do over or a second chance? We like the concept of a new beginning or a change for the better, but the actual implementation can be daunting. We feel like we have very little success with creating change and a whole lotta failure. Case in point….most diets start on Mondays and are blown by Wednesday at noon. I’m lucky if I make it to Monday night dinner!
I have listened to countless clients talk about the things they needed or wanted to change or the things they see in their spouse/partner that need change, yet feel powerless, even hopeless, on how to go about making permanent changes. Most always, my clients have more than a few things on their list. Things like; lose weight, get out of debt, get organized, work on better parenting, carve out time for intentional connection with my husband, consume less sugar (how?!?!), watch less T.V. (what?!?!), run a 5K….you get my drift. I’m gonna bet you have more than a few things on your “list” right about now. And like our dieting habits, January equals Monday and if we are lucky, mid-February equals Wednesday. So how can we set ourselves up for success and in the end, feel empowered?
ONE, some say is a lonely number. I’d like to encourage you to embrace this unimpressive, but powerful number! Let me explain this a bit more. First, make a list in any order you choose of the changes they want to make. These can be changes in habits or in relationships. And then, I ask that you choose one, just ONE. For 30 days focus on only this ONE change. If after 30 days you aren’t exactly where you want to be with this change, go for another 30 full days focusing on that ONE change until it’s a part of your routine. Sometimes, one change may have several aspects to it, so it may be necessary to break it down into several mini changes. For example; you want to connect with your husband in a more intentional way. This is quite a broad change to make so let’s break it down into a smaller, more manageable and tangible change. A small change that will go a long way over a 30 day period is for a couple to carve out 10-20 minutes every day. YES, EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. During this time, there are no interruptions (yes, I know you have children!) and this time is spent talking about whatever you’d like except the bills and the children. You can do this while washing dishes together or over drinks in the evening or whenever it works for your schedule. However, no devices allowed, including the T.V. (I know, I’m no fun). Set an alarm on your phone calendars, write it on your message central area or your bathroom mirror, just put it where both of you will see it and will be reminded that this is a new priority.
We’ve all read enough magazines, articles and blogs to know that when we are able to make one small change successfully, we feel empowered and enabled and attack the next challenge. Whether your desire for change focuses on diet, habits, relationships, paying off debt, lifestyle or something else, consider the Power of ONE. I think you’ll find it’s a pretty lucky number.